I blogged through most of high school and college with my posts becoming very sporadic toward the end. I keep telling myself I'm gonna get back into it again and then I'm too lazy to do it. Which doesn't bode well for the future of this blog. But between this long unfulfilled desire and my listening to The Bloggess' audiobook, I finally got inspired to write at least one paragraph of a post. We'll see if we get more.
Oh and since it's part of my present inspiration, I have to give a recommendation for Jenny Lawson's book. I wasn't even halfway through it and had lost track of how many times I had cried from laughter. Frickin' hilarious. While her childhood was definitely stranger than mine, I was a little surprised at what we had in common. Things like growing up in small town TX, having non-potable well water that we didn't drink but that we bathed in and used to brush our teeth, sticking our hand in the chicken's nest for eggs to find a snake instead that our respective mothers had to kill. And she has the best name ever. You get the idea. And while I haven't yet finished it, I recommend it.
So now on to jumping off a ladder. Today was major house-cleaning day. I'm not done, but I needed a break. And a drink. My dryer hasn't been drying very well. I had cleaned out the lint from the front and back of the dryer as far as I could reach but no difference. I called the appliance guy and he suggested I unhook the dryer from the vent, run it and then if it worked, it was the vent in the wall and if not I could call them back and they'd send somebody. Turns out he was brilliant and the dryer worked again!
So then I had to go about getting the vent cleaned. Not surprisingly most everyone I called was closed on Saturday but eventually I got a hold of "The Dryer Vent Lady" (that's really what she called herself) who wouldn't stop talking and asking me questions long enough for me to ask a price. I make an appointment and finally get a price from her... $150. I refrained from saying "Are you kidding me?!?!" and got off the phone. From the small amount of research I did, the task wasn't difficult, and I could get a vent cleaning kit online or at home depot/lowe's for $30 bucks or so. Yeah, no way I'm paying someone. I was already going to Lowe's so I added it to the list and headed out. When I got home, got it out of the box and started reading the instructions, I discovered I needed a shop vac too. Ok so another $30-40 and a trip to Wal-Mart. Still coming out ahead though.
After some hassle and setup, I started from the outside. Blocked. I change tools and begin attempting to clear the clog. And by clog I mean world's largest bird's nest crammed into a 4 inch pipe. So I have this flexible rod with a brush hooked up to my drill and I proceed to spend the next hour or so, grinding the nest into dust that blew out all over my face. Dust that, judging by the number of feathers that also came out with each clump, consisted of the remains of at least one bird. The wind shifted so I decided to climb down (oh yeah did I mention the vent is like 10 feet in the air??) and move the ladder so when I pulled the giant chunk that was presently stuck in the brush it wouldn't land directly on me. But before I could take a step down, the ghost of the dead bird shoved the rod and large chunk of bird nest directly at my face and I screamed and took a flying leap of the top rung of the ladder. After recovering (emotionally, I was physically fine) I climbed up and went back at it. Only to have what seemed to be the bird's head, beak and all fly at my face. Turns out it wasn't a bird's head. It was an entire dead baby bird. That flew at my face. While I perched precariously on my ladder so I could decimate its nest (and possibly its mother). Ugh. My writing skills are obviously out of practice because this story doesn't come close to capturing the vivid imagery and horrible disgust I felt as I baked in the hot Texas afternoon powerdrilling (yes I just made that a verb) bird remains into dust that covered me head to toe, but it was pretty freaking awful.
I then proceeded inside to finish, finding a lot of lint and FOUR socks from the previous owner. Did they never use the lint trap?!?! Needless to say between the giant nest, the dead bird(s) and the abundance of stranger's socks, I'm amazed the house hasn't burned down (which, by the way, is one of my biggest fears).
Ok so this post was ridiculously long and I doubt anyone will read it. I'm off to buy a bird proof shield for the bottom of the vent. Until next time (we'll see when that will be)...
God bless and goodnight
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| see how tall?!? |
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| doesn't do justice to the bird and nest in my backyard |
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| dead baby bird that flew (no pun intended) at my face |
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| socks from a stranger. or kindling for a deadly housefire. could've been either... |
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| to make up for the dead bird, here's a picture of elvis in wal-mart from my trip to get a shop vac. you're welcome. |
